EXAGGERATION NATION

I stumbled upon this website (http://thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan/) while on assignment to create some slogans for the company I’m working in right now.

Go check that website, and put any word you want in the box, and the Advertising Slogan Generator will make you one! Convenient, no? Well, not really, since the slogans are real slogans that were once / are still used. But it’s entertaining as hell.

Some of them slogans are so ridiculous, some have so much sexual undertones, and some ajust don’t explain anything about the product that I seriously wonder how the ad execs could have OK-ed it to be used as actual slogans.

I used my own name of course (narcissistic much?), and here’s a few of my fave results:

I Saw Jez and I Thought of You.
(Awww. How corny, lol)

Strong And Beautiful, Just Like Jez.
(I cannot disagree with them on this, naturally)

Strong Enough For a Man, Made For a Jez.
(This one sounds familiar, anyone knows?)

Men Can’t Help Acting On Jez.
(I wish this was true)

Give That Man a Jez.
(Same here. Hear hear!)

The Real Smell of Jez
(Seriously now, how is this slogan supposed to help the sales of an actual product?)

I Can’t Believe I Ate the Whole Jez.
(Nope, I can’t believe it either! Anyway, speaking of being eaten, mmm. Hahaha!)

 
Anyhoo, I find this shit mildly entertaining. Woo.

Pirates of the Carribean: At World’s End - A Review
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Oh my I don’t know how to begin with this movie. I really don’t, so I won’t. Believe me. I was in awe. Sure the movie is not perfect:

- it’s looong (people with short attention span beware!)
- the story might be too complicated for some (but hey, it’s an action fantasy, and you are confused? Are you 10?? Try concentration sometimes)
- it has it’s own serving of serious cheese on it (a nod to Spider-Man 3)

But hot damn, it’s still very very enjoyable, and highly satisfying. Also, the special effect team needs their Oscars - NOW! Let me tell you this though: It takes top-notch craftsmanship to make a movie that clocks in on
almost 3 hours with little to none boring scenes. Not even borderline
boredom.

If you can only afford to watch one summer blockbuster (aww poor you! HAHA), go see this one. That is why I am giving this movie a 9/10. Just go see it, OK?

One last note:
I hope I don’t spoil anything, but I am not so sure with the possibility of a fourth movie. The ending was great, and they leave it open for Jack to journey further, which is fine. BUT, as much as I want to see this franchise again, I really don’t see how they can create a storyline bigger than this one (HUGE). I mean, why make another movie if you can just end it with a big, loud, bright, fantastic bang?

The Namesake - A Review
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I read The Namesake about 2 years ago, and it was damn good. I don’t know about you, but stories about family have always have a place in my heart, so I was apprehensive when I heard that the book is getting a movie treatment. I mean, it’s always hard to translate a good book into film reels, and I do not want to be completely disappointed.

Sure as hell the movie is not as good as the book, but thank God, I wasn’t disappointed. Now on to the review! WARNING: SPOILERS.

The Namesake tells the story of an Indian immigrant family living in America. Ashima was a lovely young girl who like singing traditional Indian songs when Ashoke came with his parents to propose her. Arranged marriage was normal (and probably still is) back then. Ashoke had been living for some time in the US, and if Ashima accept him, she would move to America with him.

And she did. Before long, they had a child, a boy. When asked for a name by the hospital official, they could not give one because they were still waiting for their elders to send them a ‘good name’. But the baby and Ashima had to get out of the hospital, so they had to think of a ‘pet name’ which would be changed later. So Ashoke named the baby Gogol, taken from the last name of his favorite author. Of course, there is another, and much more significant reason why he named his son after the Russian writer.

Everything went well, and the name did not cause any trouble whatsoever. Gogol, who had become accustomed to the name, rejected the option to change his name into Nikhil, his good name. But then again, he was not even 5 when he said that.

Of course he grew up, and then there was high school. Gogol started to get teased for his name, and began to regret not changing his name years ago.

That is pretty much where the book and the movie got their title from. But there are more stories than just that:

There are Gogol’s relationships - with Maxine, an American girl, and with Moushumi, also from Bengali descent. Ashima’s struggle to live in this strange new world called America. Ashoke’s past and what made Gogol the writer so important to him. Ashoke & Ashima’s sacrifice to give their children better chances in life. Gogol & his sister, Sonia’s discovery and acceptance of their cultural backgrounds. The impending family deaths. And of course, the name itself.

The movie has a very warm feel to it, I think Mira Nair did a great job in capturing the essence of the book. I also appreciate the fact that there were quite a lot of dialogs that are taken directly from the book, unchanged. The performance of the actors was also great. I did not expect Kal Penn (who’s history of movies mostly include comedies) to be able to portray Gogol  well, but he did a good job. And of course the stand out star is Tabu, who plays Ashima. Her acting was so subtle, but so powerful. I also has to point out that the music is superb. It mixes Indian traditional music with modern elements, not surprising considering that Nitin Sawhney was responsible for it.

Of course it’s not all praise. The negative: I feel as if there are parts of the movie that felt rushed, including the ending. However, on the other hand I feel the movie is a bit long. So I don’t know, in a way I feel things are left out, but I feel as if it was a bit overdrawn at times. I am conflicted, but that is all I can think of on the negative side.

Anyway, this movie made my eyes misty for no less than 2 different points (probably more, not sure). Maybe it’s just me and my general weakness for family stories, but seriously, any movie that can bring me close to tears is well worth watching.
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Verdict:
If the last note before the end credits did not make you want to do more for your parents, than I don’t know what will. Please please please DO NOT pass this movie JUST because it has Indian background. An 8/10.

How HAWTTTT is this??

No, seriously. I can’t believe it!

I am so aroused by it - even though it does not have nudity, or even any slight obvious sexual activity whatsoever!

Mmmm.

I think I’m turning to be a bearcub-aficionado. I already have some growth on my face, but oh I am so growing a full beard now.

Notes on a Scandal - A Review

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I find Notes on a Scandal to be a somewhat disturbing movie. It’s stellar,
but it is also disturbing.

Not in the gore-and-blood-fest kind of
disturbing. Not in the sexual-pervert kind of disturbing. Not in the sex-with-an-underage
kind of disturbing (which is part of what this movie is about). But in the you-are-my-bestfriend,
and-I’ll-do-anything-to-keep-it-that-way.

WARNING: SPOILERS
ABOUND!

In
short, Notes on a Scandal tells the story of unlikely relationships:

The first relationship is the friendship of Barbara, an old and extremely
lonely history teacher and Sheba, a new
arts teacher. Barbara is stern, introverted, not well liked, and does not have
any friends except her cat and her many journals. While Sheba is young,
beautiful, candid, nice, and married with children - almost an exact opposite
of Barbara.

The second relationship is where the
‘scandal‘ in the title comes from. It is between Sheba and her
15 year old student, Stephen. Even though Sheba is married and happy, she seems
to be bored by her husband - at least in the romance/sexual department. This is
because what Sheba and Stephen do, in Stephen’s
very own 15 year old words: is fucking.

Unfortunately, Barbara, who feels very happy now
that she has a friend, found out about this affair. She has the choice of telling it
to the principal thus making Sheba fired and
eventually jailed, or keep her mouth shut.

She
choose to do the latter, but because that would benefit her. Barbara believes
that Sheba
will forever be indebted to her forever, and will always be her friend forever.

She confronts Sheba
about this and tells her she will not tell a soul if Sheba
breaks off the affair immediately. Sheba promised to do so, but soon
enough she is having sex again with Stephen. Barbara eventually finds out
again, but more promises are made and things get better.

That is until Barbara feels betrayed. Having no friends all her life, Barbara
is terrifyingly clingy towards Sheba. This is
where things get real creepy. She would go to Sheba

’s house almost on every possible occasion
and would touch Sheba
as much as she can. Barbara would do anything for Sheba
and thinks Sheba would do to and feels Sheba
is her ultimate soulmate.

So when Sheba is unable to accompany her when Barbara’s cat died, Barbara is utterly
devastated and vowed to take revenge: she passed the scandal to someone else.

Eventually
everyone knows, Sheba is
fired, runs away from her family and is on trial. However she does not know
that Barbara is the one who caused this, she thought that Stephen told someone
because she finally broke up with him to retaliate.

So how does it all end? Will Sheba finally
be jailed? Will Sheba find out who ratted her out? Where will Sheba & Barbara’s friendship go?

Well
let me tell you this: there are some intense scenes with a lot of shouting,
screaming and tears towards the end.

Notes
on a Scandal is a must see. Yes it is a narrative drama, but it is definitely
not boring. It is so fast paced and well structured, you will want to know what
will happen to the characters.

The acting is superb by both leading actress, I
can see why Judi Dench got yet another Oscar nomination because of this. Her
potrayal of Barbara’s severe loneliness is so believable, it’s uncomfortable to
watch at times. That, ladies and gentlemen, is what great acting and directing
can do to you. It’s also scary to see what loneliness can make people do.

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Verdict:
A very good, fast-paced, disturbing drama with top-notch acting. I give it 8/10.

Spider-Man 3  – A Review

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"Your Friendly Neighborhood Block of
Cheese" was the first thought that came to mind after seeing this
latest Spider-Man flick. WARNING: SPOILERS ABOUND!

There were so much cheese in this movie (even more
than the previous 2 compared!), I felt as if I just ate a whole pan of extra
large Quattro Formaggi pizza all by myself: NOT GOOD. And furthermore, I never
got the appeal of the fist two, and this movie just made it official: Me no
likey Spidey.

But of course it’s not all bad though. Let’s do a
run-down of what I think is nice. The Good:

- James Franco is hot. Period.

- Gwen Stacy is also hot, and stunning.

- And… Um, uh yeah. Except for the very funny scenes with the
Maître d’ in the restaurant, I don’t think there are that many redeeming
quality. It’s just another superhero movie! Wheee?

What I am not so sure about, The Question Mark:

- The special effect. OK I must admit that I do
find the special effect astonishing, and very slick. But my problem with it
(same with my problem with the previous movies’ special effect) is that it’s so
slick that sometimes it just does not look real. It has a cartoon-like quality
to it. Unless that was the intention of it, I don’t think I like it that much.
Or maybe it’s just me?

Anyhow, what you’ve been waiting for, The Ugly:

- James Franco is hot. AND they freakin’ killed
him off. Foolish.
- How many more times do we need to be reminded of Uncle Ben? I know, I know he
was important to Peter’s life, but making him as a plot line in 3 movies is
just LAZY scriptwriting.

- What is up with the villains? One was like: "You killed my dad and I’m so gonna kill you! Oh I got amnesia and now we’re buddy-buddy again! Oh wait I remember now, I should kill you! But whatever I’m gonna help you anyway." The other one was like: "I’m not that bad you know. I only kill and rob for my daughter. Forgive me. Boo-hoo." And another, the best one probably, was only: "You embarrass me!", and then he died.

- Venom is probably one of the best known Spider-Man villain, and he’s only in
the movie for 30 minutes? WTF? They should’ve just focused on one villain.

- Tobey Maguire should have exercised harder before shooting. What is up with
the double chin and chunky belly? Spidey was a lean mean superhero in the first
two. I mean seriously, you’re getting paid by the millions, you should deliver!

- Oh the drama! I can’t take it. Some tears make superhero movies believable,
TOO MUCH and we have cheese on our hands. A good portion of the people in the
cinema chuckled during the scene where Harry died and MJ & Peter cried. Not
good at all.

- Lastly, don’t get me started on all the singing, dancing & SELF-LOVE
PARADE. Ick.

   

Oh did I mention that, when I was watching this flick, about 10 people walked
midway and never got back in again? They might walked out because they have a
dentist appointment for all I know, but honestly I do not think that was why. Lucky I didn’t have to pay anything to watch this movie (I’ve unlimited cinema-card membership).
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Verdict:
Overall, even though it’s entertaining at some parts, it’s still too long, too much going on, bad
script, and have all the potential to be good. I’ll be easy on ya: 6/10.

This is something that I do not
usually tell people. Open as I am, for some reason there are things of my past
that I wish would just go away.

It did go away, and so did other memories.
I don’t know what happened; maybe I did try to repress some memories, or maybe I do have a terrible long-term memory. The outcome of whichever is actually true is that there are very little things I can remember below
the age of 12.

However, now it’s coming back to me - mostly
bad memories, and I am just itching to share it.

This goes way back when I was
little, probably in my elementary years. I am not exactly sure, but I think I
was around 10. But then again, what do I know.

Here’s the thing:
I used to be deathly
afraid of death.
 

Don’t get me wrong, as much as I tease myself by
saying that I want to die, I still am very scared of the thought of it. What so
different about it was that I cried, and cried and cried because of this. Moreover, I seriously do not think a 10 year old crying himself
out of the fear of death is normal. 

If you were wondering; no, I did not know anyone
that died around that time. I do not even think I had been to a funeral before
that time. The source is still obscure. But the fear was clearly there.

At first I was just afraid of the thought of
myself eventually die. It expanded. Explored further. I started to be even more afraid of the
thought of my parents dying. So much so that I prayed I would go before them.
And I was just 10.

It was always in the bathroom. Under the shower.
The water was hot (I enjoyed that). Red. The tiles were red (they are still
red). It was always during my afternoon showers.

I used to say "No", "Please
God, no",asked "Why?", eventually it became "Please
take me first" and "I do not want to see them die."

Surprisingly(?):
Nobody knew.
 

As far as I am concerned, no one in my
family knew. I would get out of the shower looking freshly showered,
invigorated, not at all showing emotions. They did not hear, I did not tell. I did not think it was necessary.

What bothered me even more now is that I have no
recollections of me coping with this. My theory is that I grew up and learned
to except the fact, and just forgot about all this. As if nothing ever happened.

The truth is:
Nothing happened in that red bathroom.

There were no prove of tears - the steaming water
washed them away. There were no sound of strained wails - the splashing of the water was
louder

But a lot did happen in my mind, my heart. Yeah. Hmm. I think
I still had one then.