EXAGGERATION NATION

I always declare that I just don’t care and don’t listen to what people say about me. But try as I might, it gets to me sometimes.

I’ve been called harsh, rude, insensitive, attention-hog, mean, cold, heartless, evil even, and all kind of other things.

Mostly negative. Heck, almost all negative. Mostly I can associate myself with. And it’s perfectly OK. Until recently.

It strucks me: it’s kind of tiring to get this feedback, even if it surely is the truth. It feels as if the people around me are only around me because of geographical reasons, and they don’t truly enjoy being around me, they only got used to it.

And maybe, just maybe, I need to change. For my own sake, for the sake of the people around me.

Maybe I should be nicer.
No trash talking. No teasing. No nasty jokes. Show a little more tenderness. Never show my annoyance or anger, just take everything in and smile. Compliment people even if what they’re wearing is truly awful. Be gentle.

Maybe I should be more polite.
Stop being blunt. Say sorry much more often. Never raise my voice. Don’t inquire people’s private matters. Stop bothering people with daily phone calls. No more curses. Be more serious.

Maybe I should hold back.
Be less expressive. Keep my thoughts and feelings to myself. Stop being open. No more crazy antics. Blend in, be less colorful. Stop being over the top, so that people really notice how I feel. Be subtle.

Hhhh.

Maybe I’ll be more liked as an all-round nice guy. Even if that means I will have to change, or pretend even. Or maybe I am a nice guy, in my own twisted way.

I doubt it.

I don’t know. I really don’t. I don’t even know why this thing got to my head to begin with. All I know is that I don’t really like this. But I suppose I can always try to implement all those above temporarily.

I have a feeling life would be much more boring that way, and I won’t enjoy it too much. We’ll see how the people around me react to this. We’ll see if they like me better this way.

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 14th, 2007 at 1:43 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.