EXAGGERATION NATION

I’ve got a new hobby. One that none of y’all would be able to guess.

It’s boxing. Yeah, seriously.

Oh OK, technically it’s not exactly boxing, as I am indeed not wearing the gloves and whatnot. Basically I just abuse the punching bag in my gym. Usually I would play some rage-fueled rock songs, and just bring that motherfucking punching bag down.

It’s so exhilarating.

Not only do I sweat and burn calories doing it, but it’s also a very good stress release. I’d recommend this to anyone (especially for those introverts, you know who you are). What’s even better is that with every punch, I prepare myself for a fight.

On the negative side, my knuckles do hurt a bit afterwards. But it’s completely fine, as the pain makes me feel manlier. LOL.

Anyway, so now the world has got one more reason not to make me mad. I am so ready to beat the crap of some religion-freak, bigoted homophobic bastards. I bet it’ll make me feel even better, mmm.

I just have to share this one with ya.

This is probably one of the
happiest songs I’ve ever heard in a while. It’s
catchy, cute, and energetic at the same time. I mean, just look at the
name of the band (they’re from Sweden, go figure! Lol) and the name of
the song, how does that not make you want to smile?

Personally, I’ve been playing it like crazy, and it sure is a great change from my
inclination to songs with a rather somber tone. This stuff is good for your heart.

So, right-click and save the link below and listen to it. Do it, I promise you, you will be singing along the "na-na-na-na" in no time.

I’m From Barcelona - "We’re From Barcelona"

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PS: So yeah, putting on links of songs is new to me. I might do it
again, I might not. Depends on whether another song worth mentioning
will appear again or not.

Hmm so, does any of you know what it feels like to wake up from a dream in which you were getting a hand job from a friend (M), while another friend (F) was pleasuring herself using a vibrator beside you?

… It was rather surreal,
and uh… very very awkward indeed.

Fortunately enough though, the dream didn’t leave a mess in the real world, if ya know what I mean. Even though I must admit that the dream did make me horny , even if just slightly and in a totally gross kinda way.

Anyhow, I promise that that will be the only time I have sex involving someone with a vagina in close proximity. Not my cuppa tea.

I’m not the kind of blogger who likes to put song lyrics as a post. This is mainly because:

a. it’s kinda boring
b. it’d make me seem less creative, credible, etc
c. mostly only girls do it, with cheesy love songs, and I’m not cheesy, not a girl, and just don’t know what love feels like.

However today I’m going to dismiss it all and put my first ever lyrics-based post. I can’t believe I’ve had this song just sitting idly in my iTunes library for almost 1 and a half years, and I have only just started paying attention to it recently.

Needless to say, it’s been on constant rotation. I love this song and I can totally relate to the lyrics. It’s angst-ridden, it’s angry, it’s honest, it’s beautiful, it’s sad, and it’s the truth.

So, this one is for you, whoever you are:

"Bloody
Motherfucking Asshole"
- Martha Wainwright

Poetry is no place for a heart that’s a whore
And I’m young and I’m strong
But I feel old and tired
Overfired

And I’ve been poked and stoked
It’s all smoke, there’s no more fire
Only desire
For you, whoever you are
For you, whoever you are

You say my time here
has been some sort of joke
That I’ve been messing around
Some sort of incubating period
For when I really come around
I’m cracking up
And you have no idea

No idea how it feels to be on your own
In your own home
With the fucking phone
And the mother of gloom
In your bedroom
Standing over your head
With her hand in your head
With her hand in your head

I will not pretend
I will not put on a smile
I will not say I’m all right for you
When all I wanted was to be good
To do everything in truth
To do everything in truth

Oh, I wish, I wish, I wish I was born a man
So I could learn how to stand up for myself
Like those guys with guitars
I’ve been watching in bars
Who’ve been stamping their feet to a different beat
To a different beat
To a different beat

I will not pretend
I will not put on a smile
I will not say I’m all right for you
When all I wanted was to be good
To do everything in truth
To do everything in truth

You bloody mother
fucking asshole
Oh, you bloody motherfucking asshole
Oh, you bloody motherfucking asshole
Oh, you bloody motherfucking asshole
Oh, you bloody motherfucking asshole
Oh, you bloody . . .

I will not pretend
I will not put on a smile
I will not say I’m all right for you
For you, whoever you are
For you, whoever you are
For you, whoever you are

I always declare that I just don’t care and don’t listen to what people say about me. But try as I might, it gets to me sometimes.

I’ve been called harsh, rude, insensitive, attention-hog, mean, cold, heartless, evil even, and all kind of other things.

Mostly negative. Heck, almost all negative. Mostly I can associate myself with. And it’s perfectly OK. Until recently.

It strucks me: it’s kind of tiring to get this feedback, even if it surely is the truth. It feels as if the people around me are only around me because of geographical reasons, and they don’t truly enjoy being around me, they only got used to it.

And maybe, just maybe, I need to change. For my own sake, for the sake of the people around me.

Maybe I should be nicer.
No trash talking. No teasing. No nasty jokes. Show a little more tenderness. Never show my annoyance or anger, just take everything in and smile. Compliment people even if what they’re wearing is truly awful. Be gentle.

Maybe I should be more polite.
Stop being blunt. Say sorry much more often. Never raise my voice. Don’t inquire people’s private matters. Stop bothering people with daily phone calls. No more curses. Be more serious.

Maybe I should hold back.
Be less expressive. Keep my thoughts and feelings to myself. Stop being open. No more crazy antics. Blend in, be less colorful. Stop being over the top, so that people really notice how I feel. Be subtle.

Hhhh.

Maybe I’ll be more liked as an all-round nice guy. Even if that means I will have to change, or pretend even. Or maybe I am a nice guy, in my own twisted way.

I doubt it.

I don’t know. I really don’t. I don’t even know why this thing got to my head to begin with. All I know is that I don’t really like this. But I suppose I can always try to implement all those above temporarily.

I have a feeling life would be much more boring that way, and I won’t enjoy it too much. We’ll see how the people around me react to this. We’ll see if they like me better this way.

Here’s my top 10 of movies that I saw (and you should have seen) in the year 2006:

#01: Children of Men
The most underappreciated movie of the year. Gut-wrenching. A must see.

#02: Shortbus
"Voyeurism is participation."

#03: An Inconvenient Truth
If watching this movie does not make you want to save our earth, I don’t know what will.

#04: Pan’s Labyrinth
Part fairy tale journey with a princess and fairies, part war movie with torture scenes and blood.

#05: Volver
Another colorful twisted story about the life (and afterlife) of a group of Spanish women from Almodovar.

#06: Little Miss Sunshine
Made me feel all warm and cozy inside after watching it.

#07: The Devil Wears Prada
Entertaining, witty, very funny, somewhat fashion-related, and fabulous. What more can a gay man ask for?

#08: Marie Antoinette
An insightful look of the daily life of the most famous person who’s life ended with a guillotine.

#09: Casino Royale
Believe it or not, this was my first ever Bond experience. And I quite liked it.

#10: The Wind That Shakes the Barley
Watch this movie in its native Ireland, then you’ll understand just how important this cinematic piece is.

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Honorable mentions (movies that I watched in 2006, but were actually released in 2005): 

#01: Brokeback Mountain
#02: V for Vendetta
#03: Transamerica

Fucker. I suffered a major blow to the top of my head earlier this afternoon. I was bouncing around while walking up the stairs in my gym, when I accidentally bumped my head to the ceiling. I’m not exactly sure how it happened, maybe I jumped too high, or maybe the ceiling on that area was inexplicably low. Either way, it was painful.

But the pain quickly passed, so I just cursed and dismissed the whole ordeal. HOWEVER, I started feeling rather slightly dizzy and drowsy - like a very light headache. Plus, I can feel my head pulsating, beating, just like what your heart does. And of course, it’s a bit painful if I put pressure to the top of my head. Uh Oh.

I’m getting a little worried here now. Especially after I researched a bit for this post and read this article. Why oh why did I have to bounce around the stairs? I wasn’t even particularly happy today for god’s sake! Stupid.

But oh well, I suppose I’ll sleep on it for now. If the whole pain continues tomorrow morning, I’m getting myself checked. Definitely NOT looking forward to that.

I realize that stating my resolution this late in the new year probably make it less valid and make me looks like less serious in actually making sure it happens in the new year, but here goes anyway:

In the year 2007, Gloomyjez resolves:

1. to spend less money on clothing items
(I think this is the only item in the list which is serious and actually crucial)

 

2. to be less melodramatic, less moody, less suicidal
(It’s just so junior high! Lol. I seriously need to stop overthinking things and just take things a little more lightly)

 

3. to lose 5kg I gained in Dublin and during holiday season before my birthday
(Go to the gym! Drink that protein shake! Skip that french fries! Walk here, walk there! Move your ass! Eat that salad! No dessert!)

 

4. to dress a bit more chic, sophisticated, and gay
(Without obstructing the success of resolution #1 too much. You ask: why would anyone wanna dress gayer? My answer: Oh because I’m gay and I want to)

 

5. to try harder to find a boyfriend, but stop being desperate
(I need to muster up my confidence and start making the moves. I know that’s gonna be extremely hard for me. Sigh. Anyhow, yeah I know the resolution is a bit contradictory, but see the next resolution)

 

6. to stop making contradictory statements
(I actually find making blatantly contradictory comments on purpose to be funny and it actually cracks people up easily. Needless to say, I don’t want this resolution to be too successful)

 

7. to talk slower, and not mumble so much
(Let’s just say, I’ve gone from bad to worse last year, and I’ve got the complaints to prove that)

 

8. to be a little less lazy
(Notice the use of the words ‘a little less’? It’s because it’s almost impossible not to be, since us Indonesians have this latent laziness we inherited from our parents. Except if your family background is the farmer type that is, huhuhuh)

 

9. to show a little more tenderness
(I’ve been told I’m cold and whatnot, even though I’m not. The thing is, it’s just hard for me to tell the people I care about [friends, and family] that I care about them. I just don’t think people see me that way, that’s why this particular resolution is here. By the way, here’s a hint, so listen people: if I ask you a lot of questions, that means I care about you. Oh I just realize, that this is possibly why I haven’t been more successful in #5. Wow, I’m making progress in these resolutions as we speak, woo!)

 

10. to smile much more
(I was about to make a long explanation on this, but I backtracked and decided not to. Maybe on another post. In the meantime, the only comment for this resolution I can think of is: "Just do it".)

   
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Heh. Look at what I’ve made. A hefty list, indeed. Here’s hoping I’d be able to complete it before midnight of 31st of December (this is if I don’t get killed before that of course, huhuhuhuh).