EXAGGERATION NATION

Just got back from one of the gay places here in Dublin. We were supposed to see this Samhain Parade (Halloween Parade) and fireworks after that, but we just didn’t see any commotion. We read about it in a newspaper, in a magazine, and in a website, but when we got to the site, there was nothing happening. Nada. We asked around and no one seemed to be sure. We also stumbled some people who were looking for the parade as well, oh well, at least we weren’t the only one.

So we gave up trying to find it (we blamed it on the Irish unreliability, or so we like to call it), and opted to go have a drink instead. One of my friend was also gay and he advised us to go tho The Front Lounge, this rather posh gay, well, for lack of a better word, lounge. I’ve actually been there before and thought that it was an alright place. Great ambiance, but just not that fun or special. Ho hum.

Once inside, of course naturally some people were wearing costumes, which was fun (there was this one very fit lad wearing a cop outfit. Ooh, pin me down and bring me to yer cell already, haha).

Anyway, they were actually having open karaoke night! Woo! Of course I didn’t sing, because y’know, I’m just awfully shy that way, hahah. But it turned out that they have karaoke night every Tuesday, not just because tonight is Halloween. So I made a promise to my friend that the next time were there (which is like, next week), we’re so going on the stage and will sing our hearts out! Yeahhh!

Oh the thought of getting called on to the stage is already making me nervous. I’m so making a fool of myself. The embarrassment! This is gonna be wild! Woo!

Dear manufacturers of headphones,

I am loyal user of your end product, especially the light-weight ones. I must add that in my humble opinion, headphones beat earphones by a mile. Here’s a comparison:

- it does not fall off of my ear like most earphones do
- it creates better, crisper sound than earphones do
- it does not hurt my eardrum any more than earphones do

But I have a simple request for you good guys: can you please make them more durable and strong? Maybe make them out of steel or aluminium, while still maintaining the lightness and comfort?

This is because today, my headphones just broke. Again. I am not sure, but I think that was my third headphones in this year alone. You heard that right, the third. I just do not think I want to cash in another 30 to 40 Euros for headphones that will only last me less than 6 months. Yep, less than 6 months.

So, I hope my letter is going to inspire you and will result in improvements in future design. Thank you for your time and attention.

Regards,

A. Zulkarnain
A Rather Semi-Disgruntled Customer

Pan’s Labyrinth (El Laberinto del Fauno) – A Review

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Pan’s Labyrinth begins as a young girl, Ofelia, travels with
her pregnant mother to the rural mountain area of Spain. They are to meet her new
stepfather, a rather cold and sadistic captain in charge of a military post
fighting off the remaining guerilla rebels from the civil war hiding up in the
mountains.

Ofelia is a very imaginative little girl, she spends her
time reading books; fairy tale books to be exact. She has always believed in
the fair and the magical, and on the first night, a fairy comes to her and asks
her to come with her to the nearby ancient labyrinth.

At the bottom of a well inside the labyrinth, she is greeted
by a fawn. He tells her that she is the spirit of the underworld’s king’s daughter,
and that the whole kingdom has been waiting for her return for a very long
time. 

However, things are not as easy as they seem to be. To make
sure that she has not completely changed into a mortal, she has to pass three
tasks before the full moon comes.

At this point on, you will probably have realized that Pan’s
Labyrinth is a fairy tale. But don’t get it wrong, it is not a fairy tale for
the kids, oh no. Not with the amount of violence involved in it.

The story then continues with Ofelia’s adventure in
completing the tasks. But that’s not the only thing this movie offers. One of
the maids in the military post is actually an informer helping the guerilla
rebels. Also, Ofelia’s mother is getting more and more ill by the minute, and
things are not looking good for her and the baby. Moreover, the rebels are
getting more reinforcements and are readying themselves to attack the military
post.

Ofelia’s journey story is intertwined beautifully with the
drama and violence surrounding her. Will she be able to complete the entire
tasks she’s been assigned to do? Or does she even want to return to her magical
kingdom, if it even existed?

Pan’s Labyrinth is a very beautiful movie. The setting is
very imaginative, and captures the sense of fairy tale without appearing as if
it was made for a children movie. Moreover it also succeeds in making the whole
look rather gloomy at the same time. For a non Hollywood movie,
the special effect and sound are also seamless. Freaky creatures are abound,
and so is gore. Expect to see torture, headshots, and many death in this
colorful epic. The soundtrack/score is also astounding, and you will find
yourself humming the lullaby even after you have left the theatre (assuming you
watch it in one - stop downloading!).

Ofelia is played well as this endearing Alice in Wonderland-esque little girl. Other
notable performance is Mercedes the maid, she basically steals every scene she
is in. The captain is believably sadistic and cold, but not with a reasonable
background.

This is a pretty long movie (almost 2 hours), but you can
barely feel the length because of the editing. Scenes are often not very long,
with many jumps to the different storylines, to keep the audiences’ interest.
This makes the movie unfolds in a constant flow, rolling out the suspense and
the magic little by little, keeping you waiting whatever things that will
happen next.

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Verdict:

It’s a beautiful, touching, bloody fairy tale for the grown ups. Do I need to say more? 8.5/10.

Here’s what I repeat over and over again in my head when I hit another low:

You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fine. It’s all going to be alright. You’re fucking fine. And by grace of God, it’d better be alright soon.

Sigh. I really wish I could truly believe that.

School’s finally switching to semi high-speed gear, and ladies and gentlemen: here comes the school works and assignments. Oh, don’t we all just love it?

(And in case you’re wondering, yeah, apparently the education system here in Ireland does not start until very late, at least not this year, due to changes in curriculum and what have you. Anyway, it’s sorta convenient.)

Anyway, school work in a business school basically means that you will have to work in groups. Weehee. I love working in groups, I really do. I mean, I might get teamed-up with people who aren’t as brilliant or hard-working as I am (yes, I’m bragging), but it’s OK, I can always telltale on the tutor or make him/her get kicked out when things go real bad (haha!). I just find it to be just more fun to work with people - the interaction, the problems, the arguments, the friendship, the tension of not meeting deadlines, etc.

But there is one thing that I find to be bothering me when I work in groups:
the existence of good looking mofo, or yummy monkeys, or fit lads, or Mr. Fuckable - whatever, in my group. Drats!

They’re just distracting me! Don’t blame me for not being able to resist stealing glances at them, who told them they should be that easy on the eye! Anyhow, I have been known to be nervous and get weak in the knees (OK, not that bad, but my hands trembled once long ago) when I am around handsome fellas, so how can I work properly when I can’t even stay down and look at him in the eye?

This is the case with one of my current group. There’s this Irish guy, and oh man oh man is he hot or what. He’s tall, he’s muscular (he’s got big arms, rrrr…), he’s got killers eyes (ooh), and he’s just too adorable when he smiles (aww). Hmm. And oh, apparently, he’s not too bad in the brain department. Life is kinda unfair sometimes, huh?

Hhh, hope I can make it til the end of the project without making a fool of meself.

Apparently, Sufjan Stevens is coming to Dublin in the 1st of November. I cannot fucking believe I didn’t notice this sooner. Of course, when I looked for the tickets online earlier this morning, it’s already sold out.

Now I’m gonna have to rely on those people peddling tickets in front of the venue (what’re they called anyway?). I’ve never bought tickets this way before so hopefully they won’t trick me into buying an unbelievably expensive ticket.

OK, now let’s use our imagination for a sec.

Say you are granted one wish, any wish. You can basically get anything you want except for whishes related to those 4 categories on the title. What would you wish for?

Here’s mine: I wish I had nothing to hide.

I like to think that I am fairly good at dancing. By dancing
I mean, dancing on the dance floor or stage of a club. Just give me a beat;
reggaeton, hip-hop, techno, you name it. When I’m in the mood, I’ll get it started, run it, work it, pump it, make it clap, dip it low, and then drop it like it’s hot. Yeah, it’s like that, y’all, I’ll be 1, 2 stepping until I lose my breath. There is not 1 thing
that can stop me (or at least that is what I think). Seriously, if you don’t
believe me why don’t cha come along
and shake ya tailfeather with me in da club.

However, now that I am in Dublin, I have not really partied and danced
hard in a club. But as I was going out of my gym, I noticed that they offer
dance classes as well. Needless to say, I was interested.

So yesterday, I challenged myself. I mustered up all of my
confidence and joined the beginners’ hip-hop class. I said to myself “how hard
can it really be?” This of course came back and bit me on the ass, because surprise,
surprise, I sucked. A lesson for everyone: do not underestimate anything
(well unless, if it’s just a small ant, in that case then just stomp it and it’ll DIE, MWAHAHA!)

Ahem, back to topic: Well, I didn’t really suck, at least not
initially. The class began with some simple hip-hop steps. Bear in mind that
this is my very first time in having any ‘formal’ dance education. I stumbled a
bit, but eventually I got the steps down. But then the instructor decided that
she’d teach us some Salsa. Uh oh.

It was disastrous. I just couldn’t keep up with the pace, or maybe I am just simply bad at receving instructions. It was as if I had two left feet. I believe I looked very awkward and uncomfortable, and the fact
that there were only 3 guys in the class did not help either. At the end of the class I concluded that apparently my upper body can groove, but the lower part, well, they’re just not that hot.

I’m gonna stick to dominating dance floors. Fer now.

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PS: Can anyone rightly guess how many song titles I used in this post?

I don’t exactly know why, but I love starry sky and full moon. So much so that upon seeing it, I become instantly happier. It almost always works, even if I’m in a really bad mood, or lonely as hell. Just like a potent depression medicine.

Maybe this is because of it’s sheer beauty, maybe because of the mythical power astrological matters are believed to have, or maybe, just maybe, it’s because of the comforting fact that how ever far and lonely you might be, all the people you care for are still under the same, friendly skies.

Preferences, preferences. Hello there people, and welcome to ‘Anatomy 101‘ with me, yours truly.

To start with, we are going to talk about the things that excite you. And no, we are not talking about roller-coaster rides, lottery prizes or a weekend getaway trip to Gran Canaria. Those sure sound exciting and all, but the thing we will be discussing today is more on the sexual side of exciting:

What makes you attracted to a person? What makes you all tingly inside (or down south)?

Bear in mind, we are not talking about the inner quality of a person: personality, wit, brains, his/her wallet size, etc. Oh no, that’d be boring that’s for another session (if there will be one). Just like the title of this post suggests, we will be focusing on anatomy today. I hope you did not fail biology in high school, folks.

There are many things that attract a person to another person. For example, most straight gentlemen would be attracted to a ladies with ample breasts, or behind. But of course there are other not-extremely-mainstream preferences as well, such as shoulders, neck, or thighs.

As another example, personally for me (as a healthy young gay man) I get all heated up upon the sight of a guy with big guns. Of course other body parts are important as well, but I am willing to forfeit it for a pair of nicely-shaped biceps, but that’s just me. Rawr.

Now back to the topic and enough about me, and more about you.

Don’t be shy, just admit that you sometimes coo and swoon upon the sight of someone. Is it the eyes, the hair, body hair, lips, legs, or even the sexy back maybe?

I am honestly curious about the things that make you go "whoa, that’s hot." I am even more curious about the ladies, because most of the ladies I know declare that they do not really see the ‘outside‘, but I think that’s just utter bullshit.

So be specific. And by specific I mean answers like "his/her face" or "his/her body" are just about as specific as saying "Oh I love any kind of music!"